For a while, I didn’t know what I was feeling; I just knew that I wanted to stop feeling it, and that the only thing that seemed to make it better was alcohol. I was an incoherent ball of emotion and drank to calm myself down. Depression had ruled my life since I was 15 years old. I missed out on a lot of things as a child because I didn’t want to associate with anyone outside of my house. School was a nightmare, to the point where, one year, I missed 68 days. There had been no real trauma that I can pinpoint that had caused this; I just felt sad all the time.